When the air gets crisp in the fall: Reflections on living seasonally

New Years is the traditional time for resolutions and life change but I often find myself evaluating my life when the air starts to get crisp in the fall. We get inspired by the promises of spring and then quickly lulled into complacency by the heat of summer. Here in the American Southeast, it’s easy to slip into the belief that summer will never end. In Nashville this year we set a record at 99F on October 3rd. But now, a month later, reality has caught up to us and the blast of cold air has awoken us. Nature has reminded us that things are always changing and we should be too.

Thoreau urges us, “Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.” We all long for this seasonal lifestyle of our ancestors. It’s easy to make fun of the pumpkin spice drinking, apple picking, plaid scarf-wearing girls of fall (me, totally me) but aren’t they just living out this sentiment? Aren’t they embracing the earth’s natural rythmn; the rythmn our of our very heatbeats?

“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.” Henry David Thoreau

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As the cold settles in, the leaves begin to change, the visions of roaring fires and good books and warm blankets fill our heads, a little bit of introspection must be expected. As we leave one season, a time of endless daylight, outdoor activities, and action, and head into another we ask ourselves, ‘did I do it right? Did I live that summer to my fullest? And the answer is usually no. Because work. Because sickness. Because overwhelm. Because you put too much pressure and set the bar too high to begin with. So now we ask ourselves, how do I do fall better? And we start the cycle over again.

I fall into this trap regularly and then find myself escaping to the day dream of My Perfect LifeTM. I think that if I just had that one thing – that job, that relationship, that wealth, that past – I could be the person I want to be and do all the things I want to do. This year, I find myself asking, how can I be that person in my current life?

So I made a list. (because, what else can you do with a question like that?) I started by asking, who is that person that I want to be?

She is…

• a writer
• a good steward of the enviroment
• healthy
• someone who feels beautiful in the body the Lord gave her
• someone who lives with margins that allow her to do the work the Lord has for her to do
• motivated and hardworking
• fulfilled by her work
• a good wife and creator of a haven that her husband wants to come home to every day
• someone who speaks kindly, with the intent to build others up
• someone who lives seasonally, according to the earth’s rythmns

Then I asked myself, what does this look like in my current life? This is important, because if you said generous, you can’t answer this how question with “gives 50% of her salary to charity” if you barely make enough to live on as it is. If you said glamourous, you probably shouldn’t say, “only wears designer clothes” if your budget won’t cover anything more expensive than Loft. Likewise, if you get two weeks of vacation you probably shouldn’t put “summers in Europe” on this list. Really think about the season of life that you’re in right now and how you can live out the qualities of the person you want to be with the resources you have at your disposal.

I answered…

What do writers do? They write. Every day.

What do good stewards of the environment do? They don’t spend their money freely. The are concious of the ehtical and environmental impact of the products they buy. They opt for less packaging. They are prepared. They keep reusible grocery bags in their cars and carry a water bottle with them. They don’t just have a compost bin, they actually take food scraps out to it instead of tossing them in the trash. They buy less, but better quality. They don’t buy mass produced tchotcky’s, instead they buy nicely made and/or handmade items from quality stores, or better yet, from local stores. In fact, they buy local whenever possible.

What do healthy people do? What am I willing to do to be healthy? I am willing to eat vegan + pastured eggs, raw local honey, and sustainable wild caught fish at home. (that’s also a way to be environmentally concious). I am willing to excersize 3-5 times a week and try to walk 15,000 steps/5 miles each day.

What do people who feel beautiful in their own bodies do? They wear clothes that fit their figure and take care of them – they wash and store them properly and get them tailored as needed. They do their hair and makeup carefully and take the extra time to get ready instead of dashing out in yoga pants. They nourish their bodies with healthy food and excersize (notice all the overlap on these bullet points!) They don’t dwell on the god-given beauty of others when it makes them feel less satisfied with their own. They take care of their skin – moisturize, use a natural toner on your face, wash your makeup off before bed, keep your nails trimmed and clean if not polished.

What do people who live with margins do? They start every day in the Word. “Word Before World” (credit to Well-Watered Women for the awesome phrase!) They schedule important activities first – for me that is YoungLives commitments, Church, and Small Group. They don’t fill every minute of every day either on the calendar or with their to-do list. They arrange their days so they aren’t rushing around. They make time to call a friend or have a pleasant exchange with a stranger. They know that you can’t act like a Christian if you’re too busy to acknowledge the people around you. When something gets asked of them or an opportunity presents itself during their free time, they ask if this is the Lord’s work. If yes, they say yes. If not, they aren’t afraid to say no.

What do motivated and hardworking people do? They prioritize their sleep (this means that at 9:30 when their husband asks “wanna watch a parcs and rec? They say no!) They eat healthy brain food. They exercise (again with the overlap – it’s almost like some of these things are actually good for you!) They don’t consume crap – into their body (junk food), into their mind (TV & social media), or into their hearts (gossip, complaining, lies people tell themselves). They create SMART goals and stick to them. They don’t try to do everything. They know that overwhelm is real. They pick one goal in just a couple of areas of life and pursue those.

Don’t consume crap – into your body (food), into your mind (trashyTV and social media), or into your heart (gossip, complaining, lies you tell yourself)

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How do people find fullfillment in their work? They recognize that the only work worth doing is not the life-saving kind or the kingdom-building kind. You don’t have to be a preacher or a doctor without borders or start a non-profit to do a job worth doing. It doesn’t matter if you flip burgers for a living, push papers, or collect garbage. Your job has a purpose and it provides something to someone else. Remember the purpose for your work – for me, that’s to help meeting planners, to bring ease and organization into their days and to share my expertise when needed. My mother always says that you don’t have to be talking about Jesus to be building his kingdom, every word you speak throughout the work day, to your coworkers, in client meetings, and on the phone can be a blessing from the lord.

Say the prayer of Jabez in the morning to help you to recognize that the Lord has put you where He wants you.

Oh that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain. 1 Chronicles 4:10

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How can I be a good wife and create a home for my family? Don’t get so caught up in your to do list (of all the things you want to do to be a good wife and homemaker!) that you don’t have time for your husband in the moment. Create a cleaning schedule and stick to it – keep a tidy house and get everyone involved. Don’t put all the responsibility on yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. But when you ask your husband for extra help, give him the freedom to do the job in his way and in his time. Love your husband with your actions even when (especially when) you don’t love him with your feelings. (This could be a whole blog post, maybe I’ll tackle it one day – maybe one day I’ll feel qualified for that job!)

How do people control their tongues? Well, first of all, I recommend the study “A Woman’s Words” by Christie Cole. Get a group of women and go through it together. It’s the best resource I’ve found on this topic. Here are some habits of people who successfully control their tongues. They pray without ceasing. If Jesus is a party in every conversation you have, you’ll be less likely to speak crassly or meanly. They remember that they are the sum of the 5 people they spend the most time with and they choose those people well. Before they speak, they ask themselves, “is this true, is it necessary, is it kind?” And they focus on listening rather than formulating their response.

How do people live seasonally? This doesn’t have to look like all those pinterest pins with lists of “25 things to do this fall!” Those are exactly how people set their expectations too high and end up feeling overwhelmed and like time is rushing past them. Yes you can go apple picking in fall, ice skating in winter, plant a garden in spring, and take a beach trip in the summer. But this isn’t the root of the issue. To truly live seasonally you need to slow your mind down and live in the present. Don’t try to add seasonal activities onto an already packed schedule, let your routine change with the seasons. I ride my horse most during the spring and fall because it’s miserable when it’s 90F with 100% humidity in August and when it’s 35F and sleeting in January (no I don’t have access to an indoor arena). And that’s okay. What do I do instead? Well, in August, I hang out at the pool after work a lot and in January I spend a lot of time reading. My husband says that cycling is his summer sport and racquetball is his winter sport. We have made an effort over the last few years to embrace a different routine as the days grow shorter.

Some ideas that I am trying out as we approach winter

• Plan less – keep my calendar open for more time at home enjoying the warmth and open for opportunties to meet new people and experience the season. For example, I accepted an invite from an aquaintance to attend Euchre Night at a local coffee shop tonight (no idea what to expect!)
• Eat more seasonally – this goes beyond just eating more soups, although it is for sure starting there. As the farmer’s market winds down (our neighborhood market goes from April – October) I’m trying to learn more about what grows in the winter here. In my own little garden, I’ve got a few peppers still ripening, the tomatoes have all died down, and I missed my opportunity to start broccoli. Along with the vegan+ diet we’re trying to cultivate at home, I want to encorporate ingredients that are either fresh in winter or are traditionally preserved for winter (think fresh apples & citrus fruit and dried beans and tomato sauce) as well as making hearty meals that will warm you from the inside out.
• Cultivate little luxuries – I have a faux fur blanket that I wrap up in every winter morning during my quiet time, it lives draped over the couch and adds a cozy warmth to the room. Light a candle that will make your house smell like a pine forest or your grandmother’s pecan pie. Wear thick knitted socks and chunky sweaters. There’s a reason we’re drawn to those little seasonal scenes on pinterest – create one of your own! Surround yourself with reminders of the season.
• Bring the outdoors in – get rid of the fresh flowers you set out all summer and instead display dried grasses. I grew a ton of different types of sqaush this year and then learned that my husband actually hates squash, so I’ve got them sitting in a bowl on the dining room table as my fall centerpiece.
• Embrace traditions on a small scale – don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to do everything, but pick one or two traditional things each season and make them a tradition. For example, my family goes to see It’s a Wonderful Life every December at the local historic movie theater. We don’t try to go to every parade, santa run, and christmas market all season – we just pick one and make it special.
• Alter your Routine – as discussed above, we aren’t trying to go as pedal to the medal as we went in the summer. We are waking up earlier and going to bed earlier. We are trying to spend more time reading and playing board games and on the weekends we make time to go for a hike or ride our tandem bike along the greenway. We’re trying to take the opportunity of a slower season to learn something new (real estate investing).

My word of the year for 2019 has been Cherish. This post is really the culimnation of everything I’ve learned this year about cherishing my season of life and enjoying where I’m at. It’s hard to slow down and it’s hard to change but they are good and this change into a slower, sleepy fall has opened my eyes to all the ways I’ve already begun to cherish my life and the people in it, and all the ways I have yet to try.

I challenge you to ask yourself, who is the person that I want to be? and then I challenge you to come up with ways that you can be that person in your current life. And if you really can’t, then what do you need to change about your circumstances to get there? My guess is that the person you want to be deep down in your heart is just the person God created you to be.