Procrastination is real, folks. Merriam Webster’s online dictionary offers two definitions for Procrastination: to put off intentionally and habitually or to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. I do this all the time. I wake up and think to myself “okay girl, you’ve got one and a half hours before you need to start working. Let’s have some quiet time with God, run with the dog for 30 minutes, shower and make breakfast, and then you’ll be in your office ready to tackle the day right on time!” And then I look up from my phone and it’s 45 minutes later; I’m starving, desperate to pee, and now I have to choose between quiet time and exercise.

So what was I even doing during those 45 minutes? I wish I could say I was reading about some really important foreign policy news that broke while I was sleeping, or tackling the long list of work emails that are already coming in from the east coast. Nope, not me. I checked instagram, facebook, and pinterest in that order and read every sappy animal rescue story I could get my hands on. I took no less than four quizzes that all claimed to predict how many children I would have based on my breakfast preferences, dream home, or ideal vacation, respectively. (They all said my husband and I were going to have three children so I’m pretty sure we can take that to the bank) And I probably skimmed the real news with disgust before falling into a buzzfeed story on all the plot inconsistencies with that one show I’ve been watching on Netflix for weeks (Google, you really freak me out sometimes).
So now I’ve already got eye strain from staring at my phone, my brain is filled with nonsense rather than with the centering word of God like I’d planned, my morning is off track, and if I try to fix it all, I’ll be late for work. But it doesn’t stop there. Fast forward to 8am. I’ve done my best to salvage my morning but I didn’t get any good quiet time or enough exercise to really have an impact. I rushed through my shower and made a mental note to do my makeup before my 11:30 in person work appointment and sat down at my desk with a sugary bowl of cereal because I didn’t have time to make anything healthy. I quickly scan my email inbox and highlight anything that needs to be dealt with and make my to do list for the day (because no matter how many times I tell myself I’m going to, I just never quite get around to writing it out before I leave work the day before). I make a reasonable to do list and prioritize each item based on the quadrant system from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-3.html – check it out, it’s super useful!) but somehow, I just don’t get it all done.

When I look back on my day I see that I did indeed sit at my desk the entire time I said I was going to. Maybe I did get in my 30 minutes of professional reading by listening to a sales audiobook in the car on the way to my meeting. Maybe I did get that one report finished and sent off to the client. And yeah, maybe I did spend too much time answering unimportant emails (but hey, you can’t just ignore people!) and distracting myself with facebook (because after making that huge spreadsheet, you deserve a mental break girl!) So tell me again why I didn’t get that one thing done that I told myself was super important even though it wasn’t the most urgent thing on the list. Maybe it had to do with finally setting up a retirement fund, or prospecting to get new business, or just maybe I was supposed to write a blog post for that new website I published. Just maybe that blog post has been at the top of my to do list for three days already. Procrastination. It kills, man.

But often, I think it’s just a symptom of a greater cause. For me, that has been fear. Fear that I won’t write well. Fear that I don’t have anything valuable to say. Fear that I can’t do this. That fear tells me that if I put myself out there and fail it will be worse than if I didn’t try at all. But the only thing that is going to make all those fears come true is to give in to the fear and stop pursuing your dreams.

So maybe I wasn’t fearful when I scrolled on my phone this morning instead of making an intentional and productive start to my day. But I was certainly avoiding discomfort, which is often the trigger for fear. We like to be comfortable. You’re completely safe snuggled up in your cozy bed with a hot cup of tea (delivered bedside by your adoring husband). It’s safe to think about trivial things. We’re all innately adverse to discomfort. It’s uncomfortable to start the day by facing your sin and asking God to reveal even more of it to you so that you can keep Him firmly in the center of your heart. It’s uncomfortable to unfold your stiff and sleepy muscles and ask your body to try to run 3 miles in under 30 minutes before breakfast. And it’s so uncomfortable it’s scary to branch out and try to get your first novel published when there are so many fantastic books out there and how could you possibly have anything unique to say and how could you possibly write better than anything that is already out there.

But here I am to tell you that it’s worth it. It’s worth it to get out of bed in the morning. It’s worth it to go to work. And it’s sure as hell worth it to pursue whatever dream your dreaming. I can’t promise that it’ll all work out like you hope. I can’t even tell you how it worked out for me. You’re here on the ground floor with me. I haven’t succeeded in anything yet. But I did just write this blog post. And it was worth it. Look back at the Merriam Webster definition: to put off intentionally and habitually. Do you want to keep intentionally and habitually putting off the things you really want to do? Or do you, like me, want your life to be full of intentional and habitual actions that move you closer to your dream every day?